Sources: https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Def598B(0.00-0.20)-CL20192911-042522.m4a https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Def598A-CL20192911-042122.m4a https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Def598B(30.02-31.45)-CL20192911-042522.m4a https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Def598C(31.14-33.04)-CL20192911-042522.mp4 https://youtu.be/puOQHDe7ji4?t=13963 https://deppdive.net/exhibits/Def598C(56.27-59.54)-CL20192911-042522.mp4 [sirens in background] AH: I meant what I said. JD: [inaudible] not being able to do— AH: No, I meant exactly what I said. JD: What did you say? AH: At least I’m not doing it behind your back, I’m telling you. JD: Okay. AH: You gave me s**t that I was recording, and I said yeah, I’m recording but at least I’m telling you. And if you had asked me not to, I wouldn’t. JD: Okay, so… [A bit later, with sirens still in the background:] AH: The person who’s loudest is most responsible? Just because— just - just - JD: My 16-year-old daughter heard you saying s**t that she would rather not hear. AH: By the way, that’s because I’m louder. By the way – because I’m louder. JD: Okay, whatever. Because you scream. AH: By the way, my family, my friends, everyone around me, saw all the bruises and broken blood vessel under my eye, the bruises on my head, the missing chunks of hair, the split lip, the black eye, the swollen nose, all that s**t, because you’re stronger. It does not mean, it does not mean because they heard me that I’m somehow more responsible. It just means they heard me because I yell, in a fight. You do provoke, I yell. It doesn’t mean I’m more responsible or badder. However I am exposed via that the distance between Café Cabrones and the house is significant, and I know, I know, that that does not mean that they got an accurate representation of our fight. But if you told them stuff, great, cool, thanks for exposing me. As I said to you before, don’t do it again unless you want me to really also tell them my side of things, because trust me, you know— JD: You’re welcome to. AH: Trust me, you know I have a different side than you. And if I show them pictures and stuff, I’m sure they’ll have an even more different side. And in fact if I tell them even more stuff, they’ll have an even more clear picture of what I think of both sides. But if you— JD: Then maybe I should show them - maybe I should show them this— AH: Right, that’s true. JD: And this, from the mineral spirits can that you threw at my face. AH: You can do - you can do whatever you want. You can do whatever. You can do whatever. By the way, do it! I promise you, do it! Do whatever you want. JD: You don’t want me to do that. They’ll never speak to you again. AH: No, you do whatever you want. [Around half an hour later:] JD: Walking away is necessary, is necessary, especially between you and I. It is of utmost importance, because the next move, if I don’t walk away or just go out for a while, it’s just gonna be a bloodbath. You know, like it was on the island, of course. Like it was - you know, it’s not worth it man, it’s not worth it. AH: Yeah, if the - if the - JD: Why be miserable? AH: If the options are there. JD: Can we just have some semblance of understanding between each other? AH: Please? Please, can we? Because I’m not trying to say – hey, by the way, nobody in their right mind is gonna choose “bloodbath” over walking away, obviously if you’re given the option between the two. JD: Then why has it been chosen so many times? AH: [laughs] It’s that snowball, it is not a distinct choice that either one of us make at any discernible point. JD: No, it’s stubbornness and it’s all kinds of s**t. AH: Yeah well, it builds, right? JD: Mm-hm. AH: Like you build, I build, you know. It isn’t like at one moment either of us sign a certificate saying, or like sign a contract, or say ‘okay now, bloodbath.” No, so acting as though there’s a choice between the two, is irrelevant. I'm not asking you to stay over having a bloodbath, I mean… I’m not asking you have a bloodbath over walking away. I’m asking to work it out over prolonging it and making it bigger. JD: Right, but if – AH: I mean, at least that’s how I see it, you know. JD: Indeed. But if things get heated - AH: Yeah. JD: And it looks like it’s getting nasty, and the name-calling begins, and all that stuff, I’ve got to get away, because I don’t want to be ever in a situation again like that. Never. AH: Me too. Me too. Me too. JD: Never. AH: Me too. JD: So don’t freak out, if we do have a fight and I walk away. AH: I'm not. I’m going to do that. I’m asking you to stay when you feel you’re also in the interest of working it out. JD: I think it’s a good idea for us to take a moment, or two – I don’t mean moment, I mean take some time. Take some time to think by ourselves without being, you know, barraged by each other’s f**king b***s**t whatevers. I just - I just - let’s take a - let's take a break from it, and then come back, try and be calm and walk through the thing. But I’m gonna stand and fight with you. I will not. AH: I don't! I don’t want that! I don’t want that! JD: You can call me a coward, you can call me anything you want, all those names. Do it. But I will not do it again. AH: Please stop asking – I mean, please can you stop for the sake of this conversation. JD: No, I’m just saying I won’t do it again, that’s all. [16 minutes later:] AH: Don't you see you've upset me now, please? JD: I'm not, I'm itching. I don't want to be doing this. I want it just to - AH: I don't want - there's - I don't want us to fight either. JD: Why don't you just say, "Okay baby, I understand, I'll go home and you do your thing where you hang out with your daughter, and then I'll see you in a couple hours, and we'll talk about it"? Is it that difficult to say that? Or do you just f**king hate me and you want to be s**tty about it? Please! Just f**king - it's not that difficult! Okay? I don't want to stand here in a driveway and argue with you. AH: I don't either. JD: Okay, well, I'll see you in a little bit, okay? AH: Sure. JD: Please? Please. Just let me know if you're gonna go somewhere, just let me know, please, so I know. [6 minutes later:] JD: And let’s not do this anymore. Because I’m really getting frustrated. AH: Please - JD: And I’m really, really, really sick of this argument. AH: Stop, I’m sorry. JD: Okay, so let me go, and you go, and I’ll speak to you in a couple hours. Okay? Okay? AH: Stop. JD: Why are you saying stop? AH: Because you’re being so— JD: May I go? AH: Please please, it causes me so much stress when you leave, when you walk away from me when that is like your – you don’t understand how much worse you’re making this! JD: I can’t believe this. AH: Please, you’re making it worse for me. JD: Okay, I’m sorry for you. AH: Please, I’m only trying to tell you so that you know, you’re causing me immense stress right now, when you walk away like that. There’s no reason to be mad. JD: Well then, say goodbye! I haven’t walked away. You’re not saying goodbye, you won’t let me f**king leave. AH: [inaudible] JD: Let me leave! AH: Stop rushing me! Stop pushing me in the corner and then poking me with a stick and then saying "Why aren’t you saying the words you want me to say?" Stop poking me! Stop rushing me! Stop throwing me against the wall and going “What? You don’t like that wall? You don’t like the f**king wall?” Stop pushing me! JD: Amber, I’m not pushing you. I'm not rushing you. I said, I need space. I don’t want this conversation anymore right now. I need space, and I will take my space, whether you like it or not. I will take it. And you will take your space. But if you keep halting this— AH: I’m not doing anything to you. JD: — and continuing with the rhetoric— AH: I’m not continuing it, I’m begging you to stop. JD: Okay, stop. I’m stopped. Stopped. Now I have to go. Okay? So we will speak to each other in a couple of hours, okay? Now if some kind of revelation makes you feel better – you know, and I hope I do too, but we’ll just see when I get home – and we’ll just talk, or we won’t talk, or we’ll finish this, or we won’t finish it. But this is not love, this is not happening, this is— AH: Please, I’ve been begging you to stop! Please, stop doing this, please! You’re causing me so much f**king stress, I’m gonna die at this age! I’m gonna f**king die! You’re causing me so much stress. Please stop. Please, I feel like I have a heart attack almost every day. Please stop, please stop doing it! JD: Then what are you doing – why—? AH: Please stop being so f**king mean! You’re a f**king bully, stop! JD: Why are you with me? AH: Please stop, I’ve been begging you not to fight! I just said, can we please have a normal argument, just even a normal conversation, a f**king normal argument? And for the last hour I’ve been begging you to please just leave it at that. Let’s just go on with our night. I would have been able to come in with you, we would have been able to let it go in a few minutes. It would have been fine. It would just have been allowing ourselves to have f**king normal arguments. Please, you’re killing me with this! You’re killing me! You’re f**king killing me! F**k! JD: Sean, could you…? Please I want you to just go. I want you to take your medicine, or whatever. I’m sorry that I’ve upset you this much. AH: Thank you Sean. I’m ready to go. Thank you so much. I’m really ready. Thanks. Full list of transcripts: https://pastebin.com/3zdSHmet